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Archive for the ‘Big Sis’ Category

pillsAfter 5 days of chaos and emotionally purging my feelings onto any living object…I’m happy to announce that the doc took my threats seriously pity on me and gave me a refill of my meds minus the office visit.  It could have been because I told him that I had been without them for that past few days and that my sister was getting married, that I was a bundle of emotional rage and that I received my monthly gift from mother f-ing nature all at the EXACT SAME TIME—– or he was just too afraid to let me into his office building after I called him at home – by mistake.  Yes, I did… but I blame the Yellow Pages or my lack attention to detail – in either case I’m sure he’s still probably checking all the windows of his home before he goes to sleep at night…whoops.

Deatils:  After having been without my meds for a few days thinking I could skate by on alcohol alone (that is just a joke, I don’t even drink anymore so put down the phone, no need to bring child services into this)….I looked him up.  No, I do not have his number saved into my phone because usually I just have my grandmother set me up an appointment because she is his housekeeper –incredibly small town ok –and has been for like a bagillion years.

ANYWAY – so I look up Dr. Mac in the good old 10 page phone book for C-town and just dial the first number I find under his name…at 6:58 in the morning….assuming I would get the office machine and I could just ball my eyes out to their voice mail and convince them I really need my meds like NOW.

Well I let the phone ring….and ring….AND RING…and on the 17th ring I’m thinking ok…wtf is up with their machine??  Then I hear a grumpy…Hello? – it’s Dr. Mac….Huh, wonder why he’s answering the phone and not his nurses or assistants or office admin or something.

Either way at that point I didn’t care about his lazy staff and I’m just like WHATEVER I NEED PILLS so I start going into this big spill about how I have been going through HELL and back and I haven’t had my meds in DAYS and that I’m desperate to get a refill before my sister gets married and abandons me for life and I’ve had to keep it all inside so I don’t upset my little Peanut who incidentally is probably the ONLY reason I’ve managed to stay sane and I’ve been a total B**** to my bf all week because I’m on my “cycle” and they shouldn’t call it a cycle they should call it LIVING DEATH because that’s what it feels like and then he so rudely interrupts my bleeding heart story to say…

“Well I’ll be happy to call you in a refill if you’ll call the office, Jenny should be able to take care of that when we open..” Silence….

Wait…what did he say?

Then it hits me….Oh – my – freaking – gracious….I called him at home….before 7am…..

So I say… “I’m sorry…I thought this was the office….” really nonchalant like because that is the only thing I COULD say at this point as I prepared myself for the restraining order I’m sure he was about to file against me. …he of course was all polite and as tactful as one can be at 7am after having a crazy patient call you at home for an anti-anxiety medication refill. And I of course called the office number that he gave me once they opened. Again…someone please save me from myself…oh that’s right..I already have someone doing that….and his name is J.me&j

I have to go ahead and say this…I am the luckiest crazy person in the world these days.  NOT only did my bf survive my hysteric mania for a whooping 7 days – through my sisters chaotic wedding, my Jekyll and Hyde persona, AND having to basically be the Peanut’s keeper during the wedding and all…but the man brought me flowers….which was the sweetest thing ever although in hindsight, it was probably as a peace offering to say ‘I love you, please don’t kill me in my sleep’ *smile* .  And not just any kind of flowers but a dozen long stemmed roses….like seriously OMG…I have the greatest bf in the world!!

He also bought me a trash can but that’s a long story that I won’t go into right now, because I’m going to tell you it’s romantic and sweet that he got me the trash can too but you’re going to go “What? She thinks a trash can is romantic? She really is crazy” and then I would have to explain why, but I’m not going to because this post is already too long and I just created the longest run on sentence EVER.  So I digress with this…

End thought: Boyfriends who bring you roses are sweet, but boyfriends who bring you outdoor garbage cans are husband material. I love you J.

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Although it may appear I have nothing better to do than blog, that is not the case. I would just prefer to blog than do what else needs to be done, plus something repeat worthy happened so I’m obligated :). Am I a slacker? No, it’s called selectively multitasking…although I’m sure my boss would beg to differ.

Anyway..so my big sister/BFF (oh yes I said BFF) works for the County where we live (what were they thinking- jk she is awesome and works really hard and is a strong and professional person that deserves a BIG HUGE raise..) ok so she is a class that teaches them…well I don’t know what it teaches them but they have to go to these like once a quarter…so she’s there with a fellow co-worker that we will call Diane – because that’s her name duh – and she texts me…
“Do you see the purple elephant?” obviously she has cabin fever..it’s been a while since she had to sit in a classroom for 8 hours.


I reply “Wtf..are you high?” not that I actually thought she was high, but it was kind of one of those things where you’re like Ok, did you stand too close to a paint can or something?


“DO YOU SEE THE PURPLE ELEPHANT??” *sigh*Of course I don’t see the elephant…how can we possibly see him at the same time…I’m an hour away.


“No, no purple elephant here but thanks for asking.” *going about my business*


“I don’t either…he must have run off with the bunny…” Right, because that is the only logical place that the purple elephant could have gone. At this point, it was too late in the day not to play along.


So I reply…“No crazy ass the bunny is right here, that damn elephant must have taken the van and hit the border…tricky bastard” At this point I was pretty pleased with myself, generating that reply in record time. So I sat smugly in my chair waiting for a reply…


No reply…hmm…so I start thinking..wait..was purple elephant code for something else? Was I supposed to have found the purple elephant? Where the hell did the bunny go?


A few minutes later I get… “I just started breathing again 🙂 I thought the teacher was going to kick me and Diane out of class..damn that elephant”


This is how I spend my afternoons with my family – chasing mythical colored creatures via SMS…I truly love my life. 🙂us

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